Does any one else miss the simple days where if you were feeling angsty you could be passively aggressive in a ‘bulletin’ in a ‘quiz’ on ‘Myspace’? Set the ‘mood’ to ‘stressed’, scroll down your friends list and copy and paste to your hearts content. Oh I sort of miss those days. HTMLing the shit out of Myspace and then feeling like a total wizard of the internet. Update my pages song to the latest from My Chemical Romance. </3 or something like that.
Anyway, in homage to these insipid bland nothingness quizzes, I have decided to fill one out below. I will try to be as honest as but if I get bored and my imagination starts to drift, bare in mind that some/all of the answers below may evolve into the entirely fictitious.
1. Fav color: Orange, though I have brief flirtations with silver and think maybe it’s silver that is my One True Love. Once the honeymoon period wears off I’m back to good old reliable orange. Orange will always be there for me.
2. Fav music: I don’t have a favourite. My lists of loves and hates is too interchangeable. All I will say is that if I ever start to enjoy music in which the ‘artist’ in the video is rubbing their baby oil covered arse towards the camera and rapping lyrics that I can’t decide whether they are sexual or comical – ermm.. just please put me out of my misery in the most immediate way that you can think of. I’ve put that into writing now – it’s a done deal.
3. Fav band: Question number 3 is too much like question number 2 so I refuse to answer.
4. Fav movie: Anything Tim Burton. And before you speak up – I know they are essentially all the same. Same cast, same everything blah blah. Do I care? No.
5 Fav show: I don’t have a favourite (see above indecision). All I will say is that I have been watching ALOT of RuPaul’s Drag Race on Netflix lately. And I’m not sick of it yet.
.. Random:. Do you?
12. Own your house: No. At this rate I will probably never own my own anything.
13. Have any pets: My little Pickle. He is a total babe. Yorkiepoo. Face like a brush that you get with your hoover but you’re not sure what to do with it.
14. Have any siblings: Two sisters and a bruvva. I’m the baby of the family though.
15. Have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Yes.
16. Have a crush: No. Because I am an adult. We go about things a little differently now.
17. Have a Best Friend?: No. Well, I have a few. Therefore no because you can’t really have multiple.
18. Own a A TV?: Yeah but it doesn’t work because I can’t figure out how to plug it in so that it will work. So it is like a big decorate piece in the corner that attracts dust.
19. Have Boobs?: ERM.. let me check. Yes.
20. Sleep walk/talk?: So I have been told although I cannot personally prove/disprove this.
.:Have you ever:.
21. Sat in gum: Does it matter?
22. Danced in public: Not as a regular habit but I have been known to throw a few shapes.
23. Smiled for no reason: No I have no soul.
24. Laughed so hard you cried: Have you ever cried so hard you laughed? How mental would that be?
25. Performed on stage: Not since the age of 11. I was never given the big parts in school performances on account of me not having any performing skills. I was always allowed to paint the scenery though.
26. Talked on the phone for more than 6 hrs: Probably. I don’t know. I hope not, because I imagine spending 1/4 of a day talking on a mobile phone would cook your brain more than a microwave to a burnt Pop Tart. Sizzle.
27. Gone out of your way to make a new friend: No, I’m not big on making an effort.
28. Tripped someone right after you helped them off of the floor: No but sometimes when people are crouched down I will push them over. It’s too hard to resist. I won’t do it to children or the elderly and only when I know the person..
.:Who was the last person who:.
29. Said hi to you: I don’t fucking remember.
30. Took your picture: My sister yesterday. I tried on some PVC trousers in River Island and Katy took a photo to send to my mum. Because my mum would probably be a bit distressed.
31. You called: Kayleigh.
32. Called you: My Aunty – she wanted to know what I wanted for my birthday. I said I didn’t know.
33.Went to the movies with you: I can’t even remember.
45.Time you cried: Last night. Don’t ask.
46. Time you laughed: I don’t log these things in my head. ERMMM nah it doesn’t bloody matter does it?!
47. Number you dialled: A taxi. I’ll save my money next time – I’ll be richer AND free of sexual harassment.
48. Book you read: I’m ashamed to say that I cannot recall although I know it has been far too long.
49. Food you ate: A whole human heart.
50. Flavor of gum you chewed: Gravy.
51. Shoes your wore: Panini.
52. Store you went in: Sainsburys.
53. Thing you said: I haven’t spoken in 7 years give or take an hour.
54. Time you looked at the time: Approximately 7 years ago give or take an hour.
55. Movie you watched: Blue is the Warmest Colour. ALOT ruder than I was anticipating. That’s what you get when you watch shit on Netflix willy nilly.
56. Joke you told: Knock knock. Who’s there? IS this freaking quiz nearly over yet? Is this freaking quiz nearly over yet who? No. Never, it will continue until the end of the world as we know it.
57. Song you sang: ‘I Follow Rivers’ by Lykke Li. I got all the way through the film and this song was in some party scene thing. Made a mental note to search it on Spotify. Bam. A long explanation that you weren’t even after.
58.Write with both hands: Yeah but it looks shit if I write with my right.
59. Whistle: I can make a sound with my mouth but I’m not certain it’s a real whistle.
60. Blow a bubble: Just about.
61. Dance: I am far too lanky but I am willing to give it a go so long as I am not on my own and no one is looking at me.
62. Stay up all night: I could but whether or not I SHOULD is something else. By the next day if I haven’t slept you might want to call a priest for an exorcism.
63. Speak a different language: No. I know about 10 words in Polish. A few rhymes. Not enough to either understand someone or construct a sentence. So that’s a no I guess.
64. Impersonate someone: In my head, yes. In reality – no.
65. Cook: Enough to get by.
66. Sing: Not really, no.
67. Hop on one foot: I have absolutely no need to.