Happy almost Christmas. Are you ready? Have you shopped until you’ve dropped? Are you reading this lying on the floor?

I think I’m about done. Now I’m in the space between where I’m eyeing up prospective presents with one eye whilst staring at the wrapping paper with the other. Eyes in opposite directions. Like the complete opposite to being cross eyed. Opposite eyed. I’m lying, I’m not really. I’m just sort of hoping if I leave it long enough they will wrap themselves.

Whilst I ponder this conundrum I think it’s right about time I whacked on another episode of Game of Thrones. It’s got it’s hooks well and truly into me. Sunken right into my skin. I know, I know. I’m so late I almost missed the party. The boat sailed off. I didn’t catch up but I’m somewhere in between and somewhere in between just happens to be the place I like best.


There’s much more to this one but it’s a bit rudey nudey. I was feeling full up with inspo after the Egon Schiele exhibition a weekend plus one back. Breathtakingly beautiful. I’ve always thought I need to work on my bodies. I haven’t got them down. Anything lower than a neck I struggle. It’s all practice I know. If you have the chance, DEF go check it out. (Coulthard Gallery, London.)

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I can’t sleep. My eyes won’t stop blinking and my brain will not stop whirring away. I’d have words but I’m not sure if it would become part of the solution – I feel more realistically as though it will add to the problem.

It’s been one of those days I think. I should have known it would be a weird one the moment I bit into my KitKat to discover there was NO wafer in it. Yeah, I shit you not. Two long skinny slabs of chocolate. I nibbled it some more, unsure of whether unbeknown to me, I had stumbled into some sort of parallel universe. I checked my watch to check the arms were not revolving backwards. Nope – seems normal. Another nibble. Nah, still entirely chocolate.

I rubbed my eyes. They stung a little – I was then aware that I had rubbed some of the said chocolate into my eyes.

An all round disaster. A delicious disaster. Blink, blink, blink. Aah that’s okay, I can see now.

Anyway, I painted the below based upon a well jazzy photograph by the lovely Erin Veness (www.comadiary.com)


I’m off to see an exhibition of work by Egon Schiele tomorrow. To say I’m freaking excited does not quite cover it. It doesn’t even slightly. It would be like the equivalent of a well rushed, badly phrased introduction to a topic written by someone who knew nothing of the subject matter.

Maybe that’s why I’m still awake.

Well I’m going to go do that thing where people who can’t sleep turn off all the lights and lie still in the dark pretending that they are asleep (until they eventually fall asleep).



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I like signing paintings with a giant obnoxious signature.

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During, after. A painting of my friend Sammy. I will shortly be posting it to where he lives in Australia. So say hello, he is only with me briefly before going on a big fat post adventure. I might stick a stamp on my head and try to send myself to Australia too. Whilst I’m not certain my method will work I figure at any stretch it is worth a try.

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Sometimes you must learn to live with the card you’ve been dealt. Mine isn’t a good one like a Queen of Hearts. But I like to think it’s some sort of diamond on a better day. A spade on a bad one. Card similes aside, the one I have been dealt does not involve grace or coordination. Somewhere (on the stairs at work this morning), somehow (I fell upwards, bruised my knee) it just occurred to me – somethings will never change. I will never be an acrobat. I never be a ballet dancer. If I had a go on a tightrope I would almost certainly fall to my death. I’m lucky if I can walk around a room without bumping into numerous things. But it’s okay, I’m not big on heights and dancing ain’t my fandango.

I have new (not new) art up in Boutique Planet in Bedford. I had a little swap around of my work that was in there previously so if you are ever in the vicinity y’all should go check that shit out.


(I might have screen captured that off of Insta. Oops, my bad)

Speaking of which – check them out on Instagram @boutiqueplanet

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Three pictures for y’all. It’s like Christmas has come early or something. Blah blah, etc etc.




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