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I don’t quite know where I have been. Here. Ish. A little bit there. Mostly no where. Or just beyond that. I haven’t been anywhere but I have been somewhere all at the same time.

I have lost my Good Pen that makes drawings Look Good.

I’ve only got the crappy ones left. The ones that make a mess of the lines and get the shading all wrong.

I’ve had words with them. Said – “look, I will give you a chance because we have been together for so, so long. But you must sort yourself out. Start pulling your weight. They are starting to notice and they think that you do not care. I’ve been making excuses for you. Fashioning elaborate stories about nothing as a distraction technique. But they are on to you. A little, but a little is enough. Like an awkward twitch of the nose that makes you start to think suspicious thoughts.


So anyone with eyes, ears, basic sensory reactions and/or a smart phone (some or any of the above) may be aware of how incredibly HOT and SWEATY and STORMY it is in the UK at the moment. I am so clammy that even my eyelashes are sweating one out.

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Hey Steph, before you get the train back to London can you take a photo of me with my painting?

I was more attached to this one than I realised. I made it a teeny while back as a present for Steph to cheer her up.


Excuse my knobbly knees. I’m trying out this whole “dungarees” fandango.

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Hey – you would not BELIEVE what came in the post last night? Addressed to “The Lovely Sarah” my mother strongly suspected that it may be a love letter..a vee day card that had long gone astray..a marriage proposal of sorts. Alas, Mother Orchard, it were none of the above. I had to stamp out those little flames by quickly reassuring her I had been Expecting Something In The Post.

It’s not too late to buy your own here.

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The colours don’t quite work do they? Ah fuck it.

I’ve got a crazy busy weekend coming up so I have attempted to conserve energy by having had gotten home from work, changed immediately into my pyjamas and crawled straight into bed. Scrubbed my face with a baby wipe.

Popped on an episode of Community on. Sip, sip, sipped away at a nice cup of tea.

I am refusing to move from this position until such time as Sarah says “it’s time to close your eyes.”

Yeah, I am talking in second person. No, I’m not sure either.

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You might not recognise this as one of my drawings as for once, it is not of my face.

I like to mix things up a bit sometimes you know. Whip out the wild card. Whip out the wild card, place it between my teeth and then do several back flips. Only several, wouldn’t want to be seen to be showing off.

Only joking you little silly billy. I can’t do a back flip. I can’t even do a forwards roll. I can barely ride a bicycle. And if I placed anything between my teeth I would most likely violently vomit everywhere. Which would be disgusting.

If you need me, I’ll be drawing pictures of myself..

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Please excuse my gnarly feet/legs.

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