Please excuse the name, I am just bloody awful at thinking up stuff on the spot. Paint – no probs. Words? Names? Errrrrrmm not a CLUE! 

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It looks like mouldy pizza. Or the ill advised cheese slice I bought in Boots the other day (don’t ask, instant regret).  

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She’s an old gal but I have given her a facelift a la Photoshop so I thought I would dust her off and get her back out again.



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I have been so productive today. Walked to town and back, opened an ISA (am I a real adult now..?) and got my teeth whitened. 

The last part I perhaps do not need to share with you but I looked absolutely hilarious so why not?

As the machine zap, zap, zapped away I managed to drop my phone on my face and knock out the super sexy gum shield.

I had what looked like a vacuum cleaner accessory inserted into my mouth but I think it was more the George Michael inspired glasses that did it for me. I tried to show my sister the “after” photos and the goggle marks on my face were more prominent than my new ‘Ross From Friends’ teeth. 

On an entirely unrelated note, I sold my first ever print from my Etsy so big cheers all round. I said big cheers all round! Oh fine, I will cheer on my own then. Wooo… 

Fine forget you lot, I’m off to take the dog out.


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I am a bit confused as I definitely painted 6 but I can only find photos of 4. Were there 4 or 6? I just don’t even know any more. They are all fairly similar yet all distinctively different. So no idea. No clue. Maybe I’ve just uploaded 4 photos of the same one. Perhaps I should go to sleep. 

I am thinking of popping some of these on my Etsy shop. What do you think? 

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A half done one from last week or some time. 

I am literally watching paint dry at the moment. Some new lumpy textured ones on a smaller scale. I don’t know if it’s what you’re into, but I might stick a few on my Etsy shop. 

I will never be a proper girl. I can walk the walk, but I get paint all over the talk. 

I just did my nails real nice. Gems, the lot. Now I have polyfilla ingrained and I will probably have to strip the lot.

Major probs I know. 

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Okay so a few of you wanted to see it and I feel 1/100th less freaked out by it now. Like a fraction less freaked out. A teeny, teeny tiny fraction. It is still bizarre beyond bizarre. So without any further ado, here you go:

I don’t know who the tattooist is but they won’t know who I am either. Potato, pot-arto. So yeah, that’s my face. Next to a strangers nipple. This person won’t even know me either. But there I am. Forevers. 

So I am a terrible human being. I am giving up smoking.. Again. I’m a few days clean now. She says, as she coughs up chunks of lung. I was doing so well. I was like… 100 days cigarette free.. And then something made me REALLY angry. Click click of the lighter, a big deep smokey inhale. Ahhh… And r-e-l-a-x. Cough. Fell off the wagon. Set fire to the wagon. Smoked that too.

I am on a bit of a self improvement drive at the moment. I want to be all teeth, tanning and Erm.. Tits? No okay, less of the latter. Much less of the latter. I just want to feel healthy and not spend the first couple of hours of each day in a dull ache of discomfort. 

Coffee was my go-to until it made me violently vomit. Had to spend 10 minutes at work with my head wedged out of the window, sucking in all oxygen I could in a bid to recover. Now the thought of my ex love makes me feel dodgy in such a way that it makes my eye twitch. 

Life is cruel. One of my favourite things now makes me spew. 

I will leave you alone now, I just thought I should share the contents of my brain with ya. 

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